Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day 2014

I hate to be negative.  I get no joy from it.  I really prefer to sit down and type out a cute little story and end it with "and a good time was had by all."  (That phrase will resonate with you if you have ever been the secretary of a 4-H or FFA chapter.)  But today, a good time WAS NOT had by all and I refuse to play Pollyanna and say it's raining when the fates are peeing all over my shoes.

We left the house shortly after 8:00 AM.  As we were pulling out, we witnessed a drug deal going down on the sidewalk half a block north of our house near Rogers High School.  A druggy looking white guy in hip hop clothing was having an intense conversation with a young black girl whose face was almost completely hidden by a hoody.  I saw things in the hands going back and forth as we approached.  I slowed down, gave them a hard stare which sent them scurrying in opposite directions, and then drove off.

However, I didn't drive far.  I went north a couple of blocks, turned back into the neighborhood and then doubled back to see what was happening after we left.  No more than two minutes had passed but the black girl had completely disappeared back into the neighborhood by the time we came back around. The white guy was proceeding north on the sidewalk pushing a baby carriage that actually contained a dirty suitcase. When he saw our truck again, he scooted back into the neighborhood as well.  At least he was several blocks from our house by then.  I should add that I would not be able to identify either of them if I saw them again.  Old eyes, etc.

After we filled up with gas and got coffee at QuickTrip, we pulled on to the Broken Arrow Expressway intending to stop and get a Subway breakfast sandwich in Broken Arrow near the turnpike entrance.  We arrived about ten minutes early, so we just waited.  We waited until 10 minutes AFTER nine before giving up and heading on. Attention Subway management.  The Subway at 1226 E. Kenosha, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma was NOT open at 9:10 A.M. this morning.

We were ready for breakfast by the time we reached the Midway facilities on the turnpike.  Sheila headed for the counter at McD's while I went to the bathroom.  In the bathroom, someone had wiped feces all over every roll of TP available.  I knew the McD's breakfast sandwich wasn't going to be much so I picked up a couple of the very good sweet rolls they serve there. After I stood in line for about five minutes, it became apparent that the checkers had a major problem on their hands with the register ... or at least a major problem for them. So, I just sat the rolls down where I found them and walked out.

When we got to the farm, Sheila walked down to turn the water on at the meter.  I knew when it came on because the works of the hot water faucet at the kitchen sink blew out and a stream of water came out several inches high.  I yelled and told her to the turn the water back off while I found the shutoff valve for that faucet. She did, I did and I yelled to turn the water back on.  She did but I could still hear water running. So, I yelled and told her to check the dump valves near the crawlspace entrance.

American Blacksnake
Cottonmouth Moccasin
In about thirty seconds, I heard Sheila screaming. I got to her as fast as I could.  There was a big old snake coiled up in the yard not far from the crawlspace entrance. I calmed her down and watched him for a minute.  Pretty good sized snake.  Snakes are usually shy creatures. If you give them warning, they will usually go away. This guy wasn't going anywhere and that's a pity. There are only two snakes that won't retreat, a cottonmouth moccasin (bad snake) and blacksnake (good snake) trying to act like a cottonmouth. Since cottonmouths are very aggressive, it is usually not advisable to get close enough to make a positive identification if the snake doesn't retreat.

So, I pulled my weapon and shot him.  The distance was about fifteen feet.  I was amazed that I hit him. Snakes are notoriously hard to hit with a handgun.  I was also amazed that the high dollar ammo that I carry for self defense actually performed as advertised.  I carry Remington Golden Saber hollowpoints.  They are supposed to nearly double in size when they touch tissue and "blossom" into sharp "petals" that exude from the main body of the bullet. The bullet did exactly what it was supposed to. The center section of the snake literally exploded and he was for all intents and purposes cut in half. 

Once again, we turned the water on. This time, the hot water connection to the shower broke loose as soon as pressure hit it and there was water all over the bathroom floor. Once again, I yelled for Sheila to turn the water off.  This time, we decided to just leave it off.  We had enough water for one more flush and that would be enough before we left.

I decided to sit down in my easy chair and watch TV for a few moments while Sheila puttered with flowers and decorations.  The TV refused to turn on.  At that point, I suggested to Sheila that it was time to call it a day.

We then drove to Sallisaw, put fresh flowers on Mom's grave and headed back up the turnpike. We had a late lunch at Charlies Chicken in Ft. Gibson.  The place was packed but the food was fabulous.  It is the best southern/soul food lite buffet you are going to find in our neck of the woods.

By 2:30 we were back at home and I have to say, we have had better adventures.